A sweet friend of mine recently posted a status about her divorced parents, and how if she could do anything for her future children, she would love their father all the days of her life.
I smiled when I read her post. But, as I thought about it, I began to cringe. How many marriages begin with the hopes of a life together, then 10 years later these two people who pledged to love one another for life, don't want anything to do with each other. So sad.
We live a culture, dear sisters, that is hard on marriage. I've seen it. Especially when children come into the picture. Now, I have not yet been in the covenant of marriage, so I am not claiming to know it all, but simple observation is all you need to come to these conclusions.
A quote in The Resolution for Women sums up how I feel, and desire to be towards my future spouse.
"Any woman resolving to fulfill her husband must consider these mysterious (perhaps intolerable) facets about him and understand that a major part of her role in marriage will be to value , support, honor, and encourage him, even when it goes against every last nerve impulse in her body. It's the gift you commit to give him when you marry him--to provide a soft place for him to fall when he feels discouraged b his own faults and intimidated by the world's pressures. You are committing to be for him even when you would rather be against him. You are determining to be faithful to him, pledging to reserve physical and emotional intimacy only for him." -Priscilla Shirer, The Resolution for Women
I want to love my husband, just as the church LOVES her bridegroom! Faithful, pure, persevering love. I seek this from my Creator first, but also from the One He created for me.
Women want to be known for who they are, cherished, loved, and accepted for it. Men want their deepest desires fulfilled as well. Just because their desires may be different (and often physical), doesn't mean we should not help him fulfill or fulfill those desires ourselves. When we marry a man, we marry him..
Not who we think he is.
Not who we want him to be.
But we marry him, a fellow sinner.
He will not be perfect, neither will you.
But then there's room at the Cross for us all.
So remember that when you commit your life to one man, you are marrying a man. He may have gross habits, hobbies you think are pointless, or friends who you don't particularly like. But, that doesn't matter. You're committment for life long intimacy with this guy matters. It matters to your children, it matters to your future, and it matters most importantly to God!
While Andrew and I were courting, a woman who I love and deeply respect gave me an assignment.
I had to make a list fo "50 Reasons I love Andrew". Sounds crazy, but it worked. I found the list last night and laughed out loud. I typed them up and sent them to him, he got a good laugh and was reminded of great memories.
I encourage you to do this if you are in courtship or marriage, to remind you of why you love your SO.
Blessings,
Jess
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