Gossip, isn't Kindness

 I first met Brett Slagel through FaceIt Ministries, when I was junior high school. As I began to get more involved with FaceIt, Brett and I got to know one another. He's a great guy, unique, and talented. God has definitely given him leadership qualities beyond his years. He shares my passion for youth, and I have learned many things from him over the past two years.

       When Jessica asked me to write a post for young women… I wondered what I could say?

As I thought about it, really one thing came to mind.

I’m a Psychology major at the University of South Alabama, I’m serious about me field, I want to use the information I learn. It’s not just a degree for a degree’s sake, if you know what I mean. One thing we study are patterns of aggression in people.

Aggression differs from male and female. For men, we tend to be more physically destructive. While it’s not beyond women to act in a physically destructive aggressive manner, women more often act in what Psychologists call “Relational Aggression”.

Relation Aggression involves what is, in my opinion, the most under-addressed problem within the church: Gossip. Spreading rumors, regardless of the true-or-false value of the statement.

Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman:

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
   and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” –Proverbs 31:26 ESV

This Relational Aggression is far more damaging than physical aggression because it ruins lives, it has a lingering effect. Long after a person had separated themselves from the aggressor, the rumors and the lies can haunt them for years to come.

Men Gossip too… it’s not just women, but statistically speaking, women are more likely to gossip and spread rumors for the intent of doing harm. No matter who’s doing it, Gossip and Slander are a big deal in the Bible… Someone who gossips about something instead of stepping up and helping the person may find themselves in an unfavorable position. Take Noah’s son, Ham, for example:

“Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. He drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said,

“Cursed be Canaan;
   a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers.”
 He also said,
   “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem;
   and let Canaan be his servant.
 May God enlarge Japheth,
   and let him dwell in the tents of Shem,
   and let Canaan be his servant.””
-Genesis 9:20-27

Because Ham went and gossiped about his father to his brothers, his child, Canaan, reaped the consequences!

But not just that, the writer of Proverbs 6 makes a chilling statement:

There are six things that the LORD hates,
   seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
   and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
   feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
   and one who sows discord among brothers.
-Proverbs 6:16-19

Sounds a lot like gossip to me.

It’s something to think about on our day-to-day walk. Gossip isn’t flattering, it isn’t the way a Christ-like woman, or man, should act.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope everyone got something from it.

“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” –Colossians 4:5-6

If you would like to read more from Brett, visit his blog

http://themastersdegree.wordpress.com/