Teach Me to Number The Days

Last night I got a big wake up call. God wrecked my heart. I received news that a member of a church that I used to attend lost her husband. Not easy, and I am praying for peace for the family of that man.

After praying about that, I decided to read one of my favorite chapters of the Bible.. Ps. 37 after I finished it, I kept reading until I came to this verse.

"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is." Psalm 39:4

I realized, for the first time in a while, that eternity is but a glimpse away. In comparison to our earthly existence, eternity is limitless.
So with that in mind, let me ask you a question...

Do you live your life for His glory? Do you live each day as if it's your last?

I told all of those who I love, that I love them. At least they know that. 

I asked the Lord a couple of days ago, "What if tomorrow never comes?"

He replied, "My child, let me worry about that, remember I hold tomorrow in My sovereign hands."

And He does.

Today, I challenge you to pray to be reminded that your days are numbered.


So, make that phone call. Buy those flowers. Hug her. Tell him that you love him. Go for a run. Kiss. Eat a salad. Hang out with your Dad. Tell someone of the Hope that lives inside of you. Dance. Be joyful in the Lord.


It really is that simple.

Every Young Woman's Battle

I realize that I have already posted today. However, this too has been on my heart. Also, it's bath time here, so I am able to write a little before adventuring into the wonderful land of book reading and lullaby singing.

I also know the title of this post is the title of a book, but I am not referring to the book, at least not today.

In high school, I didn't date. I have fought for purity, and am trying to save all intimacy (emotional and physical) for the one guy God has for me.
But, a few years ago, I hated this. I loathed it, and I really wanted a boyfriend. But each time I would begin to feel discontent and upset about not having a guy, I would remind myself of a few things.

1. God has a great man for me, if I wait.
2. He is good. Always. 
3. How many relationships actually last past the stage of life I am in?

I hope you realize, as a young woman, that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
For years I thought I was, as a little girl I was an option not a priority in my father's life. Harsh words and a bad temper were his only contributions to my life. I was never told I was a princess, never allowed to just sit in his lap, and mostly I was chided for making messes or not keeping my younger brothers quiet. I didn't receive a picture of my Heavenly Father from my earthly father.


So, this lead to me wanting the attention of guys. I wanted to be wanted, and cherished. But, I already was, I just didn't know it. No one ever told me. I knew about God, and that He loved me, but no one ever said it was beyond the surface.


After I moved to MS, and got into high school this desire consumed me. But, a few months after I got saved, God showed me He had a plan for my life.
Just for me. Even in all my illegitamacy and imperfection. He still knew me.


And that's what I wanted, to be known. And to loved as I was/am.


And that's what you want too.
But our battle comes in when we take this desire, this question of Am I lovely? to guys.

We have a God given desire to be known, and for that question to be answered. But, that question can only be answered by the King.
No guy can tell you how beautiful you are, without you doubting it.
But, since God's Word is sharper than a two edged sword, we can trust Him.
This is what He says:

 "as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." -Isaiah 62:5

  "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17

" I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." -Ps. 139:14

 I hope you realize that you have an Enemy. He wishes to destroy the Kingdom of God, and he wishes to destroy your testimony. Beware! He loves young women, I have seen countless young women who have dealt with lies that the enemy has instilled in them.

The battle starts when we listen to the Enemy, instead of the Promises of the Almighty! 

"You're not pure, remember what you did?"
"You'll never be good enough."
"You will never change."

But this is what the Creator says:

"And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:3)

"He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 1:8)

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

The battle is real, and it's fire can kill, but our hope is in the Rock. We are standing on solid ground, dear sisters. Do not fret. for He is with you. :)

Loving Their Dad, Everyday of my Life

A sweet friend of mine recently posted a status about her divorced parents, and how if she could do anything for her future children, she would love their father all the days of her life.

I smiled when I read her post. But, as I thought about it, I began to cringe. How many marriages begin with the hopes of a life together, then 10 years later these two people who pledged to love one another for life, don't want anything to do with each other. So sad.

I've started a journal of sorts for my future daughter. If I ever have one, I want her to know the things that I know, the lessons I've learned, and if anything read what it takes to be a God fearing woman of God, not an easy task in today's society.

We live a culture, dear sisters, that is hard on marriage. I've seen it. Especially when children come into the picture. Now, I have not yet been in the covenant of marriage, so I am not claiming to know it all, but simple observation is all you need to come to these conclusions.

A quote in The Resolution for Women sums up how I feel, and desire to be towards my future spouse.

"Any woman resolving to fulfill her husband must consider these mysterious (perhaps intolerable) facets about him and understand that a major part of her role in marriage will be to value , support, honor, and encourage him, even when it goes against every last nerve impulse in her body. It's the gift you commit to give him when you marry him--to provide a soft place for him to fall when he feels discouraged b his own faults and intimidated by the world's pressures. You are committing to be for him even when you would rather be against him. You are determining to be faithful to him, pledging to reserve physical and emotional intimacy only for him." -Priscilla Shirer, The Resolution for Women

 I want to love my husband, just as the church LOVES her bridegroom! Faithful, pure, persevering love. I seek this from my Creator first, but also from the One He created for me.

Women want to be known for who they are, cherished, loved, and accepted for it. Men want their deepest desires fulfilled as well. Just because their desires may be different (and often physical), doesn't mean we should not help him fulfill or fulfill those desires ourselves. When we marry a man, we marry him..
Not who we think he is.
Not who we want him to be.
But we marry him, a fellow sinner.
He will not be perfect, neither will you.
But then there's room at the Cross for us all.

So remember that when you commit your life to one man, you are marrying a man. He may have gross habits, hobbies you think are pointless, or friends who you don't particularly like. But, that doesn't matter. You're committment for life long intimacy with this guy matters. It matters to your children, it matters to your future, and it matters most importantly to God!


While Andrew and I were courting, a woman who I love and deeply respect gave me an assignment. 
I had to make a list fo "50 Reasons I love Andrew". Sounds crazy, but it worked. I found the list last night and laughed out loud. I typed them up and sent them to him, he got a good laugh and was reminded of great memories.
I encourage you to do this if you are in courtship or marriage, to remind you of why you love your SO.


Blessings,
Jess

Why I'm Terrified

I have had a lot of time to think over the past few days. I felt very very compelled to write what is written below. Please continue to be in prayer for my family as we tackle the hard times that have been set before us.

I grew up with a school of thought that said divorce was okay. My parents both had previous marriages. Yes, they were faithful to each other before my Mom stepped into eternity, but the big "D" word was always a threat in our household.

I want to say, before I get into this too deeply, that I believe in the covenant marriage. You make a commitment, before God and many witnesses to love someone faithfully until you die. I know that we all make mistakes, and there IS a second chance is Jesus Christ. I have family, and friends who have divorced and are now happily married with God as the center of that family.

And, I do not want to practice for divorce, ever.

I want to get married. It is one of my deepest desires as a woman....

But, I don't want to make the "wrong" choice. Whoever I marry will be influential in the next 60+ years of my life.

I don't want to get married just to be married.

I don't want to get married just to have sex.

I don't want to get married just because I'm in love (although this would be nice).

I want to get married so I can serve God with my husband.

I want to get married because I want to spend the rest of my life with that man.

I want to get married so I can raise up mighty arrows.

I want to get married to be a picture on earth of a heavenly romance between Jesus Christ and His bride.

In all my fear and reservation, God provides peace, thankfully.

Right now, I am single. I am 19 *almost*, and I can do anything I want (inside the will of God, of course). I am serving God in ministry at church, I am encouraging young women through Bible studies, small group ministry, and this blog. I can pursue my hobbies, my passions, and my dreams, without having to worry about the things that a wife and mother does. I am free. 

However, I am honoring that man that will someday take my hand. I am learning skills, lots and lots of them, to equip me better as a wife and mother (and generally in life). I am learning more about who God is, and what His heart looks like on a practical level. I am not infatuated with finding someone.

My gaze is fixed on Jesus Christ. My all in all. He is the ultimate lover of my soul.

No guy could ever come close to that.

I understand that marriage is a big step. We walk by faith and not by sight, and I believe that marriage is the ultimate picture of that verse.

I believe that God provides discernment for the choice of a life partner. Family, friends, and pastoral leadership all have a big impact in the discernment process. So, single sisters, think twice about a guy who doesn't honor your father. Run from a guy who doesn't cherish your heart. Ditch a guy who wants to get to know your body, before your heart. Be smart. God gave you a brain, and His Spirit for a reason. 

As I draw this blog post to an end, I'm reminded of 1 John 4:18:

  "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."

A Personal Note

Hey everyone,

I have had a personal matter arise within my family, please be in prayer for us. God can and will provide supernatural peace and comfort to His children. I will start posting again soon.

Thank you for understanding, may the Lord be with you this morning!

-Jess

Roadblocks

While I was in Florida, there was a verse that was in a lot of ways, my theme verse for the trip.

“Can two walk together except they be agreed?” -Amos 3:3

This simple Bible verse poses a very good question to us all. You see in order to walk together, we must be “agreed”. For example, you wouldn’t walk with someone who you were hostile towards, or someone who you (typically) have differences of opinion with. It just doesn’t happen.

This raises up an interesting point. Our journey with God should be an example of this verse. We should seek daily to be in His will for our lives. We should desire to walk in agreement with God. Psychologists say that walking helps clear your mind and calm you down. This is God’s desire for us as well, because we are His children. He wants us to be of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7), as well as to be at rest in Him (Ps. 62:5).

So, since it is still January, and the whole “New Years Resolution” idea is still going, people haven’t given up just yet, why don’t we examine our walks?

Is there anything in your life that is blocking your “agreement” with God? This can come in the form of social media, sports, hobbies, family, friends, you name it and it can become a roadblock!

Is there anything that is preventing you from giving your all to God? If it (or they) are not leading you to God, and walking with you in agreement while you journey closer to God’s heart, then I suggest you should prayerfully purge that roadblock.

“So if your eye--even your good eye--causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away.” –Matthew 5:29

My second point in this blog post, is to point to men.

Yep, guys.

See, I know how it is, I’ve been there. You get in a relationship with a guy, and he’s godly, seeking the Lord’s will, handsome, smart, funny….etc., and suddenly God takes a back burner.

This doesn’t happen intentionally, and it isn’t purposeful. However you begin to take your eyes off the Cross, and look to him. He becomes a roadblock. The roadblock of all roadblocks.

See, it’s a slow fade, just like anything else.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” –Psalm 1:1-2

Notice how the man is walking, then he standing, then he’s sitting. At first he’s standing tall, but then he allows the Enemy (and not intentionally either) to cripple him gradually. It may not be even noticeable at the time, the changes may have been so insignificant he didn’t notice, but with time he reaped the consequences of not staying on the “straight and narrow”.

Yes, God gave us a healthy desire for love, for acceptance. However, that desire is for one man, our husband, and should not be awakened until the proper time.

Anyhow, I digress….

Any man who wants to walk with you, should demonstrate his own hunger for God. He should not encourage you to compromise your purity or anything you believe in. If so, prayerfully dump him. No boy is worth the precious gift of your heart if he isn’t willing to wait on God’s timing! A man will protect you and cherish you, even if that means self control for him in the moment.

However, it should be noted, that our walks can be restored.

Both with God, and our guy.

But first with God, then with our guy.

Know Him, make Him known. Find joy in His presence. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength! Then, and only then will He release you into the protection of a warrior poet.

Our roadblocks are only roadblocks if we allow them to be(Titus 2:11-12).

Seeds Family Worship

Whether you are in college like I am, or are a Mom of little ones, there are some great music choices out there to encourage and equip you.
Check out Seeds Family Worship. They have some upbeat stuff, that you'll just want to dance to. It also helps tons with Bible memorization!

In Him,
Jess

For My Future Husband, A Letter

Dear Future Husband,

Let me begin by saying, the Lord is sovereign. I long for the day when I walk down the aisle and pledge my life to you, and I trust that God knows my heart and my deepest desires. I can't wait to see how the mystery unfolds. There is a huge part of me that wonders how I will meet you, what you will look like, what your family is like, what you want out of life, what your strengths are, what your struggles are, what is going on in your life during this point in time, and certainly how our walks with God will bring us together.
I want you to know that I pray for you, every day. I realize that you're human, you have your bad days, and your good days. I pray that He would make you a man, a warrior for His Kingdom, like David, and Josiah. I pray that He would mold you into the husband, I'll need someday. I pray that He will raise you up to be a father, to have a heart like His. I pray that He will make me the wife, best friend, and partner, that He knows you desire. I pray that I learn something new each day, to better equip me to be the helpmeet that I am called to be.
There are alot of things that I could say right now, but I can't wait to walk with you, talk with you, sing car songs together (haha) and most importantly, worship the Father together. I can't wait to be lead into prayer by you, to discover new things in the Living Word together, and I can't wait to do ministry together....whatever that ministry may be.
It's important that you know, I am a diehard USC Gamecocks fan. I bleed Garnet and Black. So, as long as you can handle me, and my family screaming "Burn Tigers Burn", you'll be good.
Another important fact, I hate bananas. 
Anyhow, this is the part I hate, the end. I know the story is just beginning, but this letter must come to an end, and I must start my day. Please know, that I am waiting faithfully for you, and the day I'll take your hand. Remember, there is redemption, freedom, and a second chance through Jesus Christ.
I pray that you're waiting for me, as I wait for you. As you start your day, I hope you know that God loves you, and so do I, you have a purpose, and "you are not less of a man because you don't have a five year plan". God has BIG things for you, just trust Him, always.


Love you,
Jess

What Should I Expect?

With Josh's last post under our belts, let's all take a deep breath.

Okay, I hope you're ready to receive what I'm going to say today!

I thought last night about all the young women I know, *myself included* who made a "list" of things they want in a guy.

Obviously, He has to be a Christian.

But, what else?

See, a long time ago, God diminished my unrealistic expectations for a spouse.

I wrote a list, on May 15, 2010 of all the things I wanted in my future spouse.

1. Being a Christian isn't enough- He must be walking with Christ, pursuing a deeper relationship with the Father.

2. He must love God, more than He will ever love me.

That's my list.

Yep.

I have preferences, absolutely. But, the Lord knows those, I've told Him. But, it was not, and is not, my intention to limit Him. I felt like, if I had a specific detailed list, that God couldn't work through it. Because, that would mean ultimately I could harden my heart toward what God has for me. I believe He hears our requests, I believe He hears our prayers, and He knows our hearts; However, I do not believe that having a long "list" of expectations is realistic or healthy.

See, I know that God works in mysterious ways. I know a woman who was not at all attracted to this man, she grew up with him, they went to the same church, but she swore to never marry him, he wasn't her type. But, she ended up falling deeply in love with him and marrying him. They now live in North Carolina and have five young children.

Crazy, huh?

Don't obsess over his height, hair color, and such. It's ridiculous. Even a bit childish.

Because, if you're obsessing over what you want in your future spouse. You do not have your eyes fully upon Jesus Christ. Only when you are solely focused on Christ, and are completely incandescently content in Him and are striving to serve Him and see His purposes fulfilled, will He bring the kind of guy into your life that you want to marry.

Sure, there may be men who are "interested" in you. But, you need to be at rest in Christ, before you enter into a relationship with a man.

Trust Him. Proverbs 3:5-6

Honor him. Proverbs 31:12

The Lie Most Women Believe -Josh's Outlook

Thank you Josh, for this and the next blog entry you will write.
You are a true brother in the Lord, and He is using you!

Listen, I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I’m not attempting to condemn anyone or to seem all knowing, this is simply something that really has touched my heart lately and I’m not going to sit around and do nothing about it. Please read this all the way through otherwise you may think I’m a sexist scumbag lol. Also if I tagged you in this it isn't because I think you need it, I basically tagged EVERYONE lol this wasn't a selective judgmental process at all. I hope that some of you truly know my character and the kind of man I am striving to be. I am not perfect and I’ve failed miserably but I’m a firm believer that “it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, all that matters is how many times you GET UP.

That being said I’m diving right into this. Lately I’ve been seeing a trend in women and men alike but more so in women/young ladies. Time and time again I watch men cheat/lie and use women in many different ways but then I see what disturbs me…. The girl or women does 1 of 2 things. She either goes running back to this jerk or she goes right to another man either for a relationship or simply for sex. This truly breaks my heart in ways I cannot describe because it’s a vicious cycle and I watch as this girl goes from relationship to relationship to relationship and each time she ends up more broken then the last. What I’m about to say next isn’t easy but it’s the truth. Women you are part of the reason why men are scumbags to you. Some guys will never change and I understand that but when you constantly run from man to man or back to the same guy who just hurt you, you give him PERMISSION to do it again. You train him that he can just walk all over you like a doormat and you will just keep coming back. You make yourself nothing more than a piece of meat. (Once again please don’t takes this the wrong way, it’s a two way street guys are to blame also). All that being said I don’t think that’s the root of the issue. The root of the issue is this, at some point in your life a MAN told you that you weren’t worth it and that you had ZERO value, purpose or meaning in this life or maybe he just gave you no attention at all. He did this by beating you, sexually abusing you, verbally telling you or maybe he abandoned you and your mother, maybe he treated your mother like complete crap. Whatever the issue was a man deeply scarred you somehow or simply never loved you like a young women deserves to be loved and cherished. (Please search your heart because if this is you then the only way you can heal things and change is if you acknowledge this.) Maybe your crying at this point… well let me tell you something. YOU DO HAVE VALUE/PURPOSE AND MEANING IN THIS LIFE. You deserve to be loved and cherished regardless of what happened to you, whether you allowed it or it was forced on you, there is forgiveness and I’ll talk about that in a minute. As women you are meant to submit and be gracious to men, but let me say this….don’t you dare submit to a man who constantly DISHONORS you, he doesn’t deserve it and you deserve better!! The only man you should even think about submitting to is a man who shows that he wants to lead you with honor and wants to protect you…not USE you. What I’m going to say next is also hard to say but it’s the truth. SEX DOES NOT EQUATE TO LOVE.
I’m a guy I know this all too well and I’m ashamed of it but let me tell you first hand…of all the girls I’ve had sex with I only really loved 2 of them. Looking back I wouldn’t have had sex with any of the girls I did, even the 2 I loved because when I loved them I didn’t love myself, they gave me permission to love myself and I didn’t love them I relied on them there is a HUGE difference. Btw I’m not talking about loving myself in a cocky way, I’m talking about my value/worth and purpose as a man. For all my life I have wondered why I was so insecure about myself. I constantly needed a girl in my life to give me value, worth and attention. I’ve finally figured it out though…it’s to write this to you because I know that one girl desperately needs this right now. Her life is falling apart and this is EXACTLY why. Over and over again you find your value and worth in men and every single time they let you down. Guess what….your not alone and you can get through this. There is only one way though….some of you may not like this and it may be weird to you but I promise it is real. Do you honestly think as a 20 year old male I would give a crap about helping you, what makes me different from any other guy. Why would I tell you that Sex does not equal love, I should want to USE you myself. What makes me different is my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I cannot describe in words, the grace, love and forgiveness he has shown me. I am not perfect and I have failed so much, you have no idea but what God has done in my life is truly amazing, read some of my other notes if you want but that’s a topic for another day. Right now it’s about you. I know this Jesus thing is weird and I know it’s hard to relate to Him because….it’s another MAN. But I promise he is so much more then that :DDDD Listen to how he says you should be treated.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

I know it can seem weird at first and you may not fully understand it but summed up Jesus is saying that men should love their wives like Jesus loved us. In the bible Jesus died for us, so basically as a man I am called to love my wife with EVERYTHING that I am. She deserves to get the best of me because God says so. I want you to think about this for a minute…how amazing would you feel if a man truly and I mean TRULY loved you. He sacrificed to make your life better, he stayed in shape simply so he could turn YOU and only you on at night, what if he protected you and defended your honor with everything he was and what if he didn’t want sex all the time, what if he truly desired intimacy with you and took you on a date with no other intention then to make you feel LOVED. That is what you want ladies, deep down it’s what your looking for, you may have a very hardened heart towards it though and you may think it’s impossible. It’s not impossible and we can discuss that later it’s time to talk about forgiveness. No matter what you’ve done or how many times you’ve done it Jesus wants to forgive you. He isn’t sitting up in heaven angry at you ready to hit the “lightning” button. He died for you and when he was hanging on a cross he was thinking about YOU. Even now He is screaming out, “Please, please I love you, seek me and my forgiveness and let me heal the brokenness I want to be there for you and I want to provide a husband for you that will be everything your heart desires if you seek me first”. It reminds me of a story in John 4 that I truly love, it is amazing! Jesus is sitting by a well and a women walks up to get water with a bucket and the conversation that ensues is incredible, check this out….

 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews did not associate with Samaritans at that time, it would have been like a king talking to a slave way back in royal times…it didn’t happen)
 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
 11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than the man who built the well, and who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
 13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
 17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
   Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

You see!!! This woman her entire life used men to fulfill her desire to be loved/valued/and cherished. She had 5 husbands and who knows how many boyfriends or sexual experiences in between all of them. She jumped from man to man but Jesus courageously steps in and says “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” Ladies he isn’t talking about water, he is talking about your burning desire to be LOVED more than anything else! He knows exactly the way you feel because he created you! Notice how he doesn’t scold the women, he doesn’t condemn her…he lovingly offers her the water she desires. I think this quote from my other note called “We all want it..” will explain what I’m trying to say.

“John 4:4 states "but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” it's a beautiful description of what God wants for us. We all THIRST for approval/love/acceptance and naturally we try to satisfy that thirst but we never can...apart from Him. I know it sounds crazy but when you truly internalize the truth that "you will never thirst again" you begin to realize that He is all you need. Every worry, doubt, fear, burden...He wants to carry it for you and every desire/need/want He longs to satisfy for you. Nothing is too big or too small, He created time and space he is more then capable of handling any situation we face. No one know the true meaning of "Unconditional" love esp now a days. We all conditionally love at some point or another but Chirst never did. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8. Imagine the person you HATE the most, the one who broke your heart or physically hurt you or hurt your family. Now imagine willingly giving your life solely for their benefit, with no regard of yourself.”

That’s how much God loves you ladies, it’s how much he loves us all. Your forgiven and free to live a life full of worth/value/acceptance/purpose and meaning. It’s your choice whether or not you want to accept it or keep living the way you are. Once again I’m not condemning I’m no better than anyone else but this I know FIRST HAND. If you seek Jesus, if you pray even when you feel like your talking to no one and you ask for him to show you his love and to come into your life and change it. HE WILL!!!! I promise you that, I have ZERO benefit in lying to you. This is all for Jesus and for the broken hearts that are desperate for a change in their life.  I’ve tagged plenty of girls to read this, including some amazing women of God that I know to be genuine and pure who have experienced exactly what I’ve written about. Please feel free to comment on this and ask questions or message me. I also hope that the godly women I speak of would be blessed with plenty of time to possibly answer questions or messages to help heal these broken hearts with Jesus loving help. 

If your interested in coming to church (No pressure!!! Just simply if your interested) here is an amazing church that believes exactly what I’ve talked about and that has truly changed my life with the message of Jesus…..

Deep Creek Community Church

Charlotte Performing Arts Center (CPAC) theater on the Charlotte High School campus. 701 Carmalita Street, Punta Gorda, FL

Sunday: 10:30-11:30

He Rejoices? Over Me?

With a rather crummy day under my belt. I feel I am more prepared, both spiritually and emotionally to write a productive blog post, so you can discard my pessimism in the last post. Please, and thank you!

As I mentioned before, Josh, my brave fire fighting, God fearing friend (and no you can’t have his e-mail!) will be writing something here soon. But, I want to share with you what he wrote in a note on Facebook today…but before I do so, I would like to say a few things.

(His perspective will be in the next entry to this blog)

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." – Zeph. 3:17

The verse above always, it never fails to, stops me in my tracks. For years, I believed the lie that I was not “rejoiced over” or “wanted”. Peers and others that my family associated with when I was younger, would look upon me with shame, disgrace, and pity. This was all caused by a disorder that I could do nothing about: a disorder, that I let, for years control me.

It controlled my thoughts, every time I looked in the mirror, the way I compared myself to other girls. I always thought, “if only I was prettier” or “if only God would change me, heal me” or “if I was ‘nornal’ they would accept me”.

Again, I failed to look to Jesus (see my post “Feelings Don’t Matter”).

Up until recently when God really changed my heart, and gave me His vision of who I am, I was looking at myself. I knew that God “loved” me, but I always subconsciously associated God’s love as conditional.

How could God love the part of me, that I was angry at Him for creating? Why did He choose to give me this disorder that would cripple my childhood, and make me feel inadequate, ugly, ashamed, unequal, and inferior?

Why?

That would be my question as I went to bed each night, Why Lord? Can’t you just change me? I know You can’t possibly see me any differently than they do, please Father.

I never got an answer to my questions.

I believe that I never got my answers, because I wasn’t looking to the Answer. I was looking to myself again (ah negative pride, Jesus has redeemed you!!). Also, because this is another facet of ministry for me.

BLCLP is life changing; I meet people all the time who ask me about what happened to your mouth? Is it curable? How many surgeries have you had? And that is an opportunity for the Gospel to shine.

By the way, BLCLP (bilateral cleft lip and palate) is curable, and no it doesn’t hurt unless (or until) I have surgery. I’ve had 17 surgeries, and I’m living proof that God is a Healer. When I was an infant, my heart rate dropped drastically from Morphine (which I am now “allergic” to), and I was two months premature, I was under two pounds, they literally had to dress me in doll clothes, I could fit in a grown man’s hand.

Anywho…I digress…

The Bible verse above was a source of healing, justification, redemption, and sanctification for me. I realized that I am a daughter, blessed with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3). I am seated in heavenly places. 

Finally!! The angels in Heaven were probably cheering when the light bulb in my head finally went off.

Well, the King takes delight in us. I hope you caught that in all my jibber jabber. He sees each of us, you, me, your sisters husbands brothers girlfriends sister, as a vessel for His love. We are beloved (just read Song of Solomon to figure it out :*). He rejoices over you with singing. No matter how unworthy you feel, or what you’ve done, and believe me, I’ve done plenty to feel unworthy of His never failing love! 

He is a great God, and we are His children.

We are a bride, waiting in expectation to see our bridegroom. 

That’s what I meant to say in this post.

But, I guess God had other plans.

May His love surround you today/tonight.

In Christ Alone,

Jess

My Life Has Been A Country Song...Really

The last few days have been tough, really tough.

However, it's wonderful that there is redemption and grace found at the Cross.

I feel like my life has been a country song. Wow. I don't post about my personal life here much, but today is just one of those days.

Yep, it's just one of those -crawl in bed-watch ridiculous chick flicks-eat Italian- kind of days.

I'm looking forward to what my friend Josh will be posting here soon! It should be up by Monday night! 
Hope you all are having a terrific Thursday.

Here's a video that I found today, it's a new song by Casting Crowns, and it is AMAZING!!!!

God bless! :)

-Jess