His

What does it mean to be His? Here's my answer.
*Part 1 of the Philippians series will be posted tonight. The following has been on my heart today, enjoy!*

I am a sinner, by my own admittance. I am as filthy rags to His judgement. I am mere dust on the floor of a cellar. I have fallen short, very short of the Lord's holy standard. I have belittled the call, not embraced it time and time again. It doesn't take much to see that I am in need of that amazing grace that we sing of on Sunday. I have broken the commandments, and yet I still yearned for His love. My deepest sorrow is remembering my failure before Him. I could be so much better, if only I was kinder. Perhaps more considerate, maybe then He'd feel me adequate enough to save. How about if I was prettier? Would He then find more delight in me? Surely the world sees me as less than attractive, I imagine in His eyes I am but a scoffer, bruised and beaten by the path. I have taken wrong turns, the evidence of these moments of weakness upon my disheveled appearance. Surely, He sees nothing good in me. He can't see anything. No, I won't let Him. I am doomed, and I can not measure up. I am not worthy to even touch His garment. I am but a sinner. He must see my sin stained life, must see the crimson where there should be white.
Oh, but Jesus. I plead His blood over my life! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. That precious blood!
I am saved by grace, purified by His wounds. I am washed clean, ransom paid. I am the apple of His eye. I am a princess in His Kingdom. I have been redeemed by my Lover. His love has set me free! In His eyes I am worth more than the most precious of stones. I am forgiven, every crimson stain washed white. Oh, hallelujah, white as snow. My greatest joy is seeing His delight upon my white rob, the garment a proof of the Salvation I gained when I took His yoke upon me.
I once yelled "No, Lord you must not see me, I am not worthy!" I ran, I tried to hid from Him. Now I stand before Him. Unashamed, for He has redeemed me.
He declares, "You, you are fearfully and wonderfully made!" And for the first time in my life, I believe it, I embrace His compliment upon the beauty in me. He sees no spot, nor wrinkle on me. He sees me, He delights in me. He loves me. He cares for me. He wants me. His banner over me is love.Yet, this love, it is not because of me. It could never be. Didn't you know? I am filthy apart from Him. Yet, He redeemed me. How be it so? Jesus.The Cross, the place where His Son. Only son, mind you, was left to die. The soldiers beat Him until He was unrecognizable, and the people scoffed at Him, for the were sure He couldn't save them. For if He could save them, He would save Himself first. His blood served as the ransom for all the worlds sin.Now, the empty tomb. It is my beloved's treasure. Death does not part us. Oh, He is alive in me. When He rose on the third day, He left with a promise to return unto me.
He is the prize of all eternity.His blood is what the Father sees when He looks upon me, not my own iniquity. It is only because of Jesus, that I am of the Father. I am seated in heavenly places.
Redeemed. Forgiven. Dearly loved. Clothed in righteousness.
I am His.

Update

In the weeks past, I've contemplated deeply the future of this blog, and of my presence in the online blogging world. I have gone from being able to think of a subject, to assuming it wasn't good enough, to giving up on it. Thus, I have had a poor few weeks in the blogsphere. Plus, I was admitted to the ER on Monday night after a brain injury, it's a wonder my grammar and typing abilities are sufficient without severe spell check correction.
Anyhow, I digress.
I have an expository series ready here on the blog. We will be diving into the book of Philippians. It's one of my favorite books, and I think it will provide us all with great instruction and encouragement.
We will start it today, going through chapter 1 and will do a chapter a week.
I will be having surgery on Tuesday so I will write out the blogs and have them scheduled to be published so you don't miss out on our study because of my recovery.
Plus, my friend Josh, who has provided his perspective here before, will be joining us to do a segment on the Refiner's Fire. *He is a fire fighter, pun intended*
I will also be having other guest writers give their perspectives. You, dear reader, are in for a treat!

Lattice Top Chicken

I discovered this recipe today. I am currently nannying for a wonderful woman who my family is very close to. She left me the ingredients and directions for this yummy casserole.

1 Can of Cream of Chicken
1 Cup Milk
1/2 tsp Durkee Seasoned Salt
2 cups cubed cooked chicken
1 bag frozen brocolli, carrotts, cauliflower veg combo
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 can French's fried onions
1 cup bread crumbs

Combine soup, milk, seasoned salt, chicken, 1/2 cup cheese, and 1/2 can of onions; Place in 8x12 inch baking dish. Bake covered @ 375 for 20 minutes, add 1/2 cup onions, bake for additional 15 minutes. Add cheese and bread crumbs bake additional 3-5 minutes or until brown.
Enjoy!

A Letter To My Mom

For those of you who may be new to my blog, or perhaps don't know my story, my Mom stepped into eternity in late 2007 after fighting Stage 4 Lung Cancer and 5 brain tumors. I still miss her every day. I am thankful for those who have walked me through the healing process, and for those who took me in as their daughter and loved me during that rough time in my life.

Mom,

As I sit here, drinking my coffee, I think back to you and all the good times we had. It has been almost 5 years, but honestly it still hurts like yesterday. You taught me so much about life, and there are no words that can express my thanks to you enough. Please know that the things you enstilled in me have not gone astray. I hope that someday I can be half the wife and mother that you were to Dad and I. The strength I find in the tough times, I believe, is in part because of you. You were so strong, even up until your last night with us. You were a fighter, and I thank God every day for you teaching me never to give up. You never let me have a huge pity party because of my illness and yet you never condemned when I was feeling less than adequate. I'll never forget Dad and I sitting on the couch and him telling me you were sick. I felt like the world had ended, the one person who'd always been my Rock and my example of strength, dignity, and grace was now not so strong. The doctors told us that you wouldn't make it until Christmas, you didn't even make it to Thanksgiving. My heart still aches as I think about how sick you were, yet you refused to let anyone see your weakness. I guess that's the biggest thing I've learned since you stepped into eternity, let others see your weakness. You always told me that someday some really lucky man was going to come into my life and be everything that Dad was to you, and you were right. Jeremy is beyond what I could've hoped for. I have you to thank for teaching me never to settle for second rate. I know that you loved God with all your heart, and I praise Him for that, and for you teaching me about Him. Honestly, I know people say that they have the best Mom, but you really were. Not only were you an amazing friend, you were an amazing mentor, just ask anyone who worked with you. Your legacy still lives on. I miss you, but I can't wait to see you someday very soon. You are not forgotten. 

Love you,

Jessi

Love

I figured since I referenced Jeremy in my last blog post, I should probably bring you dear readers up to date. I try to focus on ministry not my personal life here, but I feel that this IS a ministry, so I felt comfortable spilling the beans to you ladies!

I am now in a courtship with a wonderful guy. 

Yay for love! :)

Jeremy and I pretty much ignored each other for about 8 months. Kinda funny, actually. 

He is a bit taller than I am. Those of you who know who I am personally will laugh at this. I find it miraculous that we agree about almost everything from a doctrinal and theological standpoint. Plus, the man is romantic, and what girl would pass that up? 

But, I guess the thing that attracted me most to Jeremy, and led me to say "Yes! Absolutely!" to him, was his love for God. I knew he would love God more, and that was something that I felt very strongly that I wanted in a potential husband.

Thank you God, for this new season, and for bringing such a great man after Your heart into my life. May we look to You alone and pursue Your will alone. Give him strength to lead me to Your throne of grace, and grant me the joy to submit and serve him whenever possible. May others see You, and Your love, and Your glory through us. I pray that we would walk in purity and sincerity. You have set us apart, and I pray that we would not take the call of Christ upon our lives for granted. Help us to serve You alone, help us to start a legacy of love founded upon Your Son. Be the center of our lives, and our relationship. Help us to evaluate our hearts and lives in accordance to Your Word, and make changes if we need to. Provide me with a heart of acceptance and humility to respect him in a way that is honoring to him, and encourages him; not only as a brother in Christ, but as a boyfriend. Help me to honor him, not only with the words I speak, but by the condition of my heart towards him. Lord, be near to us.

The Relationship Handbook

I had never heard of this concept before, but Jeremy's friend, Sarah (you can find her blog in my "Recommended Blogs" section), introduced me, and I'm hooked!

Since she and her boyfriend are both "perfectionists" by her admittance, she shared with me the idea they came up with called "The Relationship Handbook" (that's my name for it, anyways!).

This is a great tool for not only courting (because I don't believe in our society's norm to date), but married folks too.
See, in the stage I'm in where you are just getting to know someone this binder helps you to remember all those little things about the other person. For example, their love language, their strengths, habits, likes and dislikes.
The idea can in some ways be rooted to Fireproof, where Caleb is given the assignment to study his wife as if he were still courting her.
And, this binder really helps us remember all those little details that sometimes get swept away with responsibility and the chaos of life.
It can include anything you'd like. I'm just starting on Jeremy and I's and here's some of the things I have (in no particular order):

1)Love Language
2)Apology Language
3)Conflict Resolution (still to be discussed and finalized, a "protocol" to follow when conflict arises between the two of you)
4)All About Jeremy (include fun facts and things you need to remember)
5)Date Ideas (yes, even though we're 10 hours apart, I still made this a priority, it's not always going to be this way!)
6)His Day (ideas/things he'd like to do on days that are designated for me to learn about him, and how to better serve him).
7)Gift Ideas
8)Surprise Ideas
9)Ways to Respect Him
10)Communication Practice (I put this behind conflict resolution, while he's more bold and out front about things, I'm reserved, so this was important for me to figure out ways to improve in this area.).


Like I said, it's still a work in progress, and I'm currently at work, so I can't take pictures of it yet. I have to decorate it, after all. :)
Hope this helps those of you who've been together a short time, and those of you who are married and growing old together!

And again, a HUGE thank you to Sarah for sharing this idea with me! It helps to shape your relationship into the BEST it can be!

New Beginnings In Christ

With spring we associate new beginnings. This is especially true in my own life. It's funny how God can close one door, then open another. 

 “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. ² And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. ³ Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. ⁴ Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. ⁵ Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.⁶ Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

⁷ “The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. ⁸ The Lord will command the blessing on you in your barns and in all that you undertake. And he will bless you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. ⁹  The Lord will establish you as a people holy to himself, as he has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in his ways. ¹⁰ And all the peoples of the earth shall see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they shall be afraid of you.¹¹ And the Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. ¹² The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. ¹³ And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you shall only go up and not down, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, being careful to do them," -Deuteronomy 28:1-13

New beginnings, or starting over, if you will, is a constant throughout the Bible. Sometimes we miss just how redemptive our God is. See, He likes making things new, He wants to wipe away our tears.

 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” -Revelation 21:4

 We've all fallen short of God's standards. However, there is hope in the Cross. We can't say God is redemptive, and not point to the Cross as the ultimate example. At the Cross, we sinners, can come, and be cleansed and washed clean of our iniquity. Not only that, but through the blood shed on Calvary we receive a destiny that is literally out of this world, through Jesus Christ we have all the riches in glory. Hallelujah!
God is just, and we do have consequences for the mistakes we make. Yet, there is hope. See, even though sometimes we screw up, and we suffer terribly because of it, we have God. 
All we have to do is trust in Jesus.
I know I've grown up in church, I heard all the stories, sang all the songs. Yet, each of us has to come to a point where we say "I'm really insignificant and messed up. I need God. I need Jesus, because I can't do any of this on my own."
That's where it all starts.
Each day is a new beginning, and is an opportunity to turn from our fallen sin filled culture, and be transformed and renewed by the God who made the mountains and still knows how many hairs are on our heads.
So with this new season ahead of us, let us be reminded that our God is doing a new thing; not only in the weather department, but let Him make a new heart within you.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead," -1 Peter 1:3

Let Jesus consume your heart and life. 
You can start again, today.




Happy First Day of Spring. :)