The Lie Most Women Believe -Josh's Outlook

Thank you Josh, for this and the next blog entry you will write.
You are a true brother in the Lord, and He is using you!

Listen, I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I’m not attempting to condemn anyone or to seem all knowing, this is simply something that really has touched my heart lately and I’m not going to sit around and do nothing about it. Please read this all the way through otherwise you may think I’m a sexist scumbag lol. Also if I tagged you in this it isn't because I think you need it, I basically tagged EVERYONE lol this wasn't a selective judgmental process at all. I hope that some of you truly know my character and the kind of man I am striving to be. I am not perfect and I’ve failed miserably but I’m a firm believer that “it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, all that matters is how many times you GET UP.

That being said I’m diving right into this. Lately I’ve been seeing a trend in women and men alike but more so in women/young ladies. Time and time again I watch men cheat/lie and use women in many different ways but then I see what disturbs me…. The girl or women does 1 of 2 things. She either goes running back to this jerk or she goes right to another man either for a relationship or simply for sex. This truly breaks my heart in ways I cannot describe because it’s a vicious cycle and I watch as this girl goes from relationship to relationship to relationship and each time she ends up more broken then the last. What I’m about to say next isn’t easy but it’s the truth. Women you are part of the reason why men are scumbags to you. Some guys will never change and I understand that but when you constantly run from man to man or back to the same guy who just hurt you, you give him PERMISSION to do it again. You train him that he can just walk all over you like a doormat and you will just keep coming back. You make yourself nothing more than a piece of meat. (Once again please don’t takes this the wrong way, it’s a two way street guys are to blame also). All that being said I don’t think that’s the root of the issue. The root of the issue is this, at some point in your life a MAN told you that you weren’t worth it and that you had ZERO value, purpose or meaning in this life or maybe he just gave you no attention at all. He did this by beating you, sexually abusing you, verbally telling you or maybe he abandoned you and your mother, maybe he treated your mother like complete crap. Whatever the issue was a man deeply scarred you somehow or simply never loved you like a young women deserves to be loved and cherished. (Please search your heart because if this is you then the only way you can heal things and change is if you acknowledge this.) Maybe your crying at this point… well let me tell you something. YOU DO HAVE VALUE/PURPOSE AND MEANING IN THIS LIFE. You deserve to be loved and cherished regardless of what happened to you, whether you allowed it or it was forced on you, there is forgiveness and I’ll talk about that in a minute. As women you are meant to submit and be gracious to men, but let me say this….don’t you dare submit to a man who constantly DISHONORS you, he doesn’t deserve it and you deserve better!! The only man you should even think about submitting to is a man who shows that he wants to lead you with honor and wants to protect you…not USE you. What I’m going to say next is also hard to say but it’s the truth. SEX DOES NOT EQUATE TO LOVE.
I’m a guy I know this all too well and I’m ashamed of it but let me tell you first hand…of all the girls I’ve had sex with I only really loved 2 of them. Looking back I wouldn’t have had sex with any of the girls I did, even the 2 I loved because when I loved them I didn’t love myself, they gave me permission to love myself and I didn’t love them I relied on them there is a HUGE difference. Btw I’m not talking about loving myself in a cocky way, I’m talking about my value/worth and purpose as a man. For all my life I have wondered why I was so insecure about myself. I constantly needed a girl in my life to give me value, worth and attention. I’ve finally figured it out though…it’s to write this to you because I know that one girl desperately needs this right now. Her life is falling apart and this is EXACTLY why. Over and over again you find your value and worth in men and every single time they let you down. Guess what….your not alone and you can get through this. There is only one way though….some of you may not like this and it may be weird to you but I promise it is real. Do you honestly think as a 20 year old male I would give a crap about helping you, what makes me different from any other guy. Why would I tell you that Sex does not equal love, I should want to USE you myself. What makes me different is my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I cannot describe in words, the grace, love and forgiveness he has shown me. I am not perfect and I have failed so much, you have no idea but what God has done in my life is truly amazing, read some of my other notes if you want but that’s a topic for another day. Right now it’s about you. I know this Jesus thing is weird and I know it’s hard to relate to Him because….it’s another MAN. But I promise he is so much more then that :DDDD Listen to how he says you should be treated.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

I know it can seem weird at first and you may not fully understand it but summed up Jesus is saying that men should love their wives like Jesus loved us. In the bible Jesus died for us, so basically as a man I am called to love my wife with EVERYTHING that I am. She deserves to get the best of me because God says so. I want you to think about this for a minute…how amazing would you feel if a man truly and I mean TRULY loved you. He sacrificed to make your life better, he stayed in shape simply so he could turn YOU and only you on at night, what if he protected you and defended your honor with everything he was and what if he didn’t want sex all the time, what if he truly desired intimacy with you and took you on a date with no other intention then to make you feel LOVED. That is what you want ladies, deep down it’s what your looking for, you may have a very hardened heart towards it though and you may think it’s impossible. It’s not impossible and we can discuss that later it’s time to talk about forgiveness. No matter what you’ve done or how many times you’ve done it Jesus wants to forgive you. He isn’t sitting up in heaven angry at you ready to hit the “lightning” button. He died for you and when he was hanging on a cross he was thinking about YOU. Even now He is screaming out, “Please, please I love you, seek me and my forgiveness and let me heal the brokenness I want to be there for you and I want to provide a husband for you that will be everything your heart desires if you seek me first”. It reminds me of a story in John 4 that I truly love, it is amazing! Jesus is sitting by a well and a women walks up to get water with a bucket and the conversation that ensues is incredible, check this out….

 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews did not associate with Samaritans at that time, it would have been like a king talking to a slave way back in royal times…it didn’t happen)
 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
 11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than the man who built the well, and who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
 13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
 17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
   Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

You see!!! This woman her entire life used men to fulfill her desire to be loved/valued/and cherished. She had 5 husbands and who knows how many boyfriends or sexual experiences in between all of them. She jumped from man to man but Jesus courageously steps in and says “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” Ladies he isn’t talking about water, he is talking about your burning desire to be LOVED more than anything else! He knows exactly the way you feel because he created you! Notice how he doesn’t scold the women, he doesn’t condemn her…he lovingly offers her the water she desires. I think this quote from my other note called “We all want it..” will explain what I’m trying to say.

“John 4:4 states "but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” it's a beautiful description of what God wants for us. We all THIRST for approval/love/acceptance and naturally we try to satisfy that thirst but we never can...apart from Him. I know it sounds crazy but when you truly internalize the truth that "you will never thirst again" you begin to realize that He is all you need. Every worry, doubt, fear, burden...He wants to carry it for you and every desire/need/want He longs to satisfy for you. Nothing is too big or too small, He created time and space he is more then capable of handling any situation we face. No one know the true meaning of "Unconditional" love esp now a days. We all conditionally love at some point or another but Chirst never did. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8. Imagine the person you HATE the most, the one who broke your heart or physically hurt you or hurt your family. Now imagine willingly giving your life solely for their benefit, with no regard of yourself.”

That’s how much God loves you ladies, it’s how much he loves us all. Your forgiven and free to live a life full of worth/value/acceptance/purpose and meaning. It’s your choice whether or not you want to accept it or keep living the way you are. Once again I’m not condemning I’m no better than anyone else but this I know FIRST HAND. If you seek Jesus, if you pray even when you feel like your talking to no one and you ask for him to show you his love and to come into your life and change it. HE WILL!!!! I promise you that, I have ZERO benefit in lying to you. This is all for Jesus and for the broken hearts that are desperate for a change in their life.  I’ve tagged plenty of girls to read this, including some amazing women of God that I know to be genuine and pure who have experienced exactly what I’ve written about. Please feel free to comment on this and ask questions or message me. I also hope that the godly women I speak of would be blessed with plenty of time to possibly answer questions or messages to help heal these broken hearts with Jesus loving help. 

If your interested in coming to church (No pressure!!! Just simply if your interested) here is an amazing church that believes exactly what I’ve talked about and that has truly changed my life with the message of Jesus…..

Deep Creek Community Church

Charlotte Performing Arts Center (CPAC) theater on the Charlotte High School campus. 701 Carmalita Street, Punta Gorda, FL

Sunday: 10:30-11:30

He Rejoices? Over Me?

With a rather crummy day under my belt. I feel I am more prepared, both spiritually and emotionally to write a productive blog post, so you can discard my pessimism in the last post. Please, and thank you!

As I mentioned before, Josh, my brave fire fighting, God fearing friend (and no you can’t have his e-mail!) will be writing something here soon. But, I want to share with you what he wrote in a note on Facebook today…but before I do so, I would like to say a few things.

(His perspective will be in the next entry to this blog)

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." – Zeph. 3:17

The verse above always, it never fails to, stops me in my tracks. For years, I believed the lie that I was not “rejoiced over” or “wanted”. Peers and others that my family associated with when I was younger, would look upon me with shame, disgrace, and pity. This was all caused by a disorder that I could do nothing about: a disorder, that I let, for years control me.

It controlled my thoughts, every time I looked in the mirror, the way I compared myself to other girls. I always thought, “if only I was prettier” or “if only God would change me, heal me” or “if I was ‘nornal’ they would accept me”.

Again, I failed to look to Jesus (see my post “Feelings Don’t Matter”).

Up until recently when God really changed my heart, and gave me His vision of who I am, I was looking at myself. I knew that God “loved” me, but I always subconsciously associated God’s love as conditional.

How could God love the part of me, that I was angry at Him for creating? Why did He choose to give me this disorder that would cripple my childhood, and make me feel inadequate, ugly, ashamed, unequal, and inferior?

Why?

That would be my question as I went to bed each night, Why Lord? Can’t you just change me? I know You can’t possibly see me any differently than they do, please Father.

I never got an answer to my questions.

I believe that I never got my answers, because I wasn’t looking to the Answer. I was looking to myself again (ah negative pride, Jesus has redeemed you!!). Also, because this is another facet of ministry for me.

BLCLP is life changing; I meet people all the time who ask me about what happened to your mouth? Is it curable? How many surgeries have you had? And that is an opportunity for the Gospel to shine.

By the way, BLCLP (bilateral cleft lip and palate) is curable, and no it doesn’t hurt unless (or until) I have surgery. I’ve had 17 surgeries, and I’m living proof that God is a Healer. When I was an infant, my heart rate dropped drastically from Morphine (which I am now “allergic” to), and I was two months premature, I was under two pounds, they literally had to dress me in doll clothes, I could fit in a grown man’s hand.

Anywho…I digress…

The Bible verse above was a source of healing, justification, redemption, and sanctification for me. I realized that I am a daughter, blessed with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3). I am seated in heavenly places. 

Finally!! The angels in Heaven were probably cheering when the light bulb in my head finally went off.

Well, the King takes delight in us. I hope you caught that in all my jibber jabber. He sees each of us, you, me, your sisters husbands brothers girlfriends sister, as a vessel for His love. We are beloved (just read Song of Solomon to figure it out :*). He rejoices over you with singing. No matter how unworthy you feel, or what you’ve done, and believe me, I’ve done plenty to feel unworthy of His never failing love! 

He is a great God, and we are His children.

We are a bride, waiting in expectation to see our bridegroom. 

That’s what I meant to say in this post.

But, I guess God had other plans.

May His love surround you today/tonight.

In Christ Alone,

Jess

My Life Has Been A Country Song...Really

The last few days have been tough, really tough.

However, it's wonderful that there is redemption and grace found at the Cross.

I feel like my life has been a country song. Wow. I don't post about my personal life here much, but today is just one of those days.

Yep, it's just one of those -crawl in bed-watch ridiculous chick flicks-eat Italian- kind of days.

I'm looking forward to what my friend Josh will be posting here soon! It should be up by Monday night! 
Hope you all are having a terrific Thursday.

Here's a video that I found today, it's a new song by Casting Crowns, and it is AMAZING!!!!

God bless! :)

-Jess

Who May Ascend

."Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD?
Who may stand in His holy place?
 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who has not set his mind^[a] on what is false,
and who has not sworn deceitfully.

He will receive blessing from the LORD,
and righteousness from the God of his salvation

Such is the generation of those who seek Him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob"  -Ps. 24:3-6

As I read this psalm this morning, God used his spiritual "highlighter" to "highlight" these verses on the page into my heart.

The NLT translation (what I usually use for the blog, the above is HCSB) says that "they will have a right relationship with God their savior" (v. 5).

Our hearts must be pure, our hands must be clean in order to have an unblocked, unabridged, view and relationship with the Father.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me." - Ps. 51:10

Our prayers shouldn't be for materialistic possessions that only disappear in light of eternity, our prayers should be for things eternally impacted. Our hearts, our motives, our attitudes.

I'm developing a heart of purity. Like my Abba's. Every thought we have, must be subjected to Christ:

" We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5

 By having pure thoughts and thus having pure actions, we are obeying Christ. We are pursuing a deeper relationship with Him. Purity isn't just something to be saved until marriage, it is a life long journey.

Purity in essence is single-mindedness, it is a protector, a fighter, a warrior, for all things Sacred to God.

(I recommend reading Meet Mr. Smith by Eric Ludy, for more in depth study)

Our culture sees purity as something that is forced, frigid, cold, and boring. But, God designed purity to protect, not punish. Purity can be (and is) fun, exciting, expectant, and joyful. Purity is a guardian of the sacredness of marriage.

Do not let anyone tell you, ever, that purity isn't worth it. 

Don't settle for less than God's best for your life.

Seek first the Kingdom.

This is a rather short post, but it is my prayer that all who read this blog are blessed and encouraged to live a life of faithfulness to God, pursuing purity, and proclaiming the Gospel!

Gossip, isn't Kindness

 I first met Brett Slagel through FaceIt Ministries, when I was junior high school. As I began to get more involved with FaceIt, Brett and I got to know one another. He's a great guy, unique, and talented. God has definitely given him leadership qualities beyond his years. He shares my passion for youth, and I have learned many things from him over the past two years.

       When Jessica asked me to write a post for young women… I wondered what I could say?

As I thought about it, really one thing came to mind.

I’m a Psychology major at the University of South Alabama, I’m serious about me field, I want to use the information I learn. It’s not just a degree for a degree’s sake, if you know what I mean. One thing we study are patterns of aggression in people.

Aggression differs from male and female. For men, we tend to be more physically destructive. While it’s not beyond women to act in a physically destructive aggressive manner, women more often act in what Psychologists call “Relational Aggression”.

Relation Aggression involves what is, in my opinion, the most under-addressed problem within the church: Gossip. Spreading rumors, regardless of the true-or-false value of the statement.

Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman:

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
   and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” –Proverbs 31:26 ESV

This Relational Aggression is far more damaging than physical aggression because it ruins lives, it has a lingering effect. Long after a person had separated themselves from the aggressor, the rumors and the lies can haunt them for years to come.

Men Gossip too… it’s not just women, but statistically speaking, women are more likely to gossip and spread rumors for the intent of doing harm. No matter who’s doing it, Gossip and Slander are a big deal in the Bible… Someone who gossips about something instead of stepping up and helping the person may find themselves in an unfavorable position. Take Noah’s son, Ham, for example:

“Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. He drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said,

“Cursed be Canaan;
   a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers.”
 He also said,
   “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem;
   and let Canaan be his servant.
 May God enlarge Japheth,
   and let him dwell in the tents of Shem,
   and let Canaan be his servant.””
-Genesis 9:20-27

Because Ham went and gossiped about his father to his brothers, his child, Canaan, reaped the consequences!

But not just that, the writer of Proverbs 6 makes a chilling statement:

There are six things that the LORD hates,
   seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
   and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
   feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
   and one who sows discord among brothers.
-Proverbs 6:16-19

Sounds a lot like gossip to me.

It’s something to think about on our day-to-day walk. Gossip isn’t flattering, it isn’t the way a Christ-like woman, or man, should act.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope everyone got something from it.

“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” –Colossians 4:5-6

If you would like to read more from Brett, visit his blog

http://themastersdegree.wordpress.com/

Feelings Don't Matter

Quite honestly, I thought seriously about deleting this blog. The last few days have been crazy, and I've really been struggling.

I asked myself, "Who am I? Who am I, to write about purity? Who am I to write about honoring your future husband?" 

What right do I have to write about and preach about, things that I am passionate about, but somehow always seem to fall short?

See, that's where the Cross comes into play.

I don't deserve His grace.

I don't deserve His mercy.

I don't deserve His love.

But, somehow He loves me in spite of my unworthiness. I have struggled for years, yes years with the topics that I'm passionate about.

I love purity, I love standing up and fighting for Biblical womanhood, I love being a champion for feminine grace to this generation, but I've always felt so inadequate.

How can I preach about purity, and waiting on the man God has for you, when I secretly loath doing so? How can I get on a stage and say these things, when I did not make wise choices?

The Cross.

See, I kept doing what alot of us do. I looked at myself, at my past. I looked at my failures. My inadequacy. My fears. My weakness. My pain. I wasn't looking fully at the Cross.

Yes, I loved the Cross. But this was one area of my life that I still, after all this time, had not submitted and surrendered to the Lord.

I knew I messed up, I knew that. And I kept going back to me.

"Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions." -Ps. 119:18

I didn't look upon the Cross as sufficient.

I refused to believe that His blood made me white as snow.

Last night a friend and I were talking about this, my struggle, and she said something to me:

"Who else? Who else, Jess, will stand up and stand out, like you are. I don't know many young women who are so faithfully waiting on the Lord. No one is perfect, we all are sinners. We all need grace. But, honestly, if there is one person that the Lord has appointed to be set apart for this stuff, it's you."

 Then, I read Jeremiah 1:5

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

I am chosen.

I am set apart.

I am appointed.

We all have a sacred and holy calling upon our lives. To know Him, and make Him known!

My ministry is a struggle, but in this, there is always room for the Lord's mercy, and His strength (Phil. 4:13).

I am not adequate, not in the slightest.

But, it doesn't matter. I am a vessel, being used by the Lord to champion the Gospel, and spread the beautiful message of purity.

It doesn't matter how I feel.

All that matters is I am a child of the Most High King!

All that matters is I've been forgiven by Jesus' death and resurrection.

All that matters, is I don't have to rely on myself, but on the truth in God's Word.

It doesn't matter that other people think I'm crazy and even a little naive for stepping out for Christ and His Kingdom.

It doesn't matter if I just want to have a pity party, because of my past mistakes, my God is greater, and He has greater things coming, joy will come in the morning (Isa. 35:10)

When we surrender something to the Lord, it is in His hands, He is perfectly capable and able to make something beautiful out of our mess. However, we must not be quick to snatch it back, to take the pen back that we gave Him to write our story, we must "be anxious for nothing".

All that matters is that we are in His hands, and He is greater than our failures. He is greater than the trials.

He is a strong tower. My hope and joy is in Him alone.

I'm just merely learning to replace the lies of the Enemy, with the truth of God's Word.

"I will not build my life upon the passing sands
Of how I feel inside from one moment to the next
But I will love you Lord, my Rock, my God, my Strength
A precious cornerstone that floods of death can never shake

For there is no peace of mind, outside of truth in Christ
For the fear is real and it's power can kill
But the stability of our times, the stability of our times
Will be the Rock that is higher, He's higher
The Rock that is higher" -Laura Hackett, When I Am Afraid

Taking A Break

Hey guys, after a few stressful days, I just wanna let you know that I will be taking a break from Blogging for a while. I am super busy with other ministries, and I'm leaving for Florida soon (Lord Willing!). It's not that I don't love doing this, and the stats are showing a steady increase in people coming here, I just have way too much on my plate as of right now. Certain situations in my personal life, as well as family troubles are making my schedule a little cramped!
I hope you've enjoyed my previous posts, and I will be back to write more in a few weeks (after Thanksgiving).
I know the Lord is faithful, and writing has always been a passion for me, however I just need a break from things that are taking away what little "me" time I have. It sounds selfish probably, however I just am a little overwhelmed by this blog, school, work, ministry, and trying to have a social life.
 I'm actually really really sick today. We've had a stomache bug looming around our house for the past few weeks, and I'm pretty sure the weather going from 87 degrees to 41 degrees every other day has something to do with my immune system faultering.

Anyways, I'm praying that the Lord blesses you and that the previous posts are an encouragement!

If you'd like to get in further contact with me, connect with me via Facebook!

God bless :)

 ‎"Those who turn many to righteousness, will shine like the stars forever and ever." -Daniel 12:3